A Time for Change

Some of you may recall that I recently posted about a story where a father killed his child to avoid paying child support.  I was absolutely horrified when I read that as I cannot wrap my mind around a parent putting money over the life of their own child. 

Many years ago, I had clients who want ed me to handle their family law matters.  I was not crazy about that and I later took a job in a firm working with a partner who was supposed to handle the family law work while I would primarily focus on commercial litigation.  I ended up, however, being mired in the cesspool of family law litigation.  It is very, very ugly.  I have done as little of it as possible and got out of it as soon as I could.  To say that divorce and custody disputes bring out the worst in people is the understatement of the century.

I am a person not easily surprised or shocked by people because I guess I have seen a lot as a lawyer over the last 16 years.  Yet today I came home and read the comments to my blog and was amazed to see the below:

I understand where this guy is comming from. I see it as this, everyone thinks about doing bad things, it’s just that some of us will actually act it out. I am on child support. I know alot of fathers on child support, and though nobody has said they wanted to kill the child. ALL OF US have spoken of doing something to the mother. He had 3 options, pay child support = his life is over, and he will be railroaded to jail. Kill the child= his life is over and he will be railroaded to jail, or just do something to the mother= get your child back and live happily ever after. And there are so many ways you can get at the mother. You don’t have to just kill her. Take your son for the weekend, buy a good amount of Dope, Coke, or Crack. Put it in your son’s bag and send him home. The moment he goes into his mothers house, annonomously call DYFS’s emergency line and tell them that it appears to be a drug related disturbance at her home. (You must say that you saw her, and another person arguing over drugs and “A Bag”. The DYFS team will respond faster than the police, they will find the drugs and POOF!!! she goes to jail, you get custody, and now she is to pay the child support. Problem solved. You just spent about $250 on some dope that will save you a life time of debt, and your child will still be supported. As for the mother? Who cares, she can easliy find another man to have a baby on…………and mostlikely she will. So I say shame on you Danny, you had the right idea, just the wrong target. keep your head up and don’t blame yourself, blame the one who is truely to blame, the dependant mother.

When I did family law, I basically represented men.  This was a universal response by men who were ordered to pay support to their wives, but I never saw such a violent response.

This person needs to get some psychological help rather quickly.  He is talking about committing some rather major felonies to get out of paying for his own child.  I won’t say that I understand why men so resent paying child support for women, but I will say it is sick.  Just sick.  During the marriage they do not have a problem, but during separation and after the divorce they do.  It seems to me to be about control.

That is not  to say that there are not some women who can, and should, go out and get a job to relieve some of the pressure of support, but nothing, and I mean nothing, warrants what is said above.  I believe in the rule of law and if there is  a problem with paying child support, then get it reduced lawfully, but to talk about any of the above, even if  it is not serious, is just beyond my comprehension and so very  not funny.